Does it matter whether it’s the husband or the wife who keeps the checkbook and pays the bills? Lots of people say that kind of thing is the man’s job, but I was curious about what you think.
I don’t think it matters one bit, and here’s why.
In each family there’s a nerd and a free spirit. The nerd is good at keeping track of things and putting everything in its place. The free spirit is just the opposite. They are not detail-oriented. Now, this doesn’t make them irresponsible or mean that they don’t care. It’s just that they aren’t blessed with a gift for administration. They want things to be good and right just as much as the nerd, but they don’t get a rush when the checkbook balances out.
But just because the nerd keeps the checkbook doesn’t mean he or she gets to make all the financial decisions.
In a marriage, those decisions should be made together with input from both the husband and wife. Remember, God didn’t unite some kind of joint business venture. He made you as one — together. When you do a budget each month, you should both sit down and come to a mature, reasonable and respectful agreement on where the money’s going.
So when it comes down to the act of keeping the checkbook, I think whoever is the more organized of the two should handle this duty. But if you include these other principles you’ll experience more unity in your daily lives together AND have better communication in your marriage!
I’ve been pretty rebellious for the last year, not listening to my parents and doing other dumb things. Now I’ve got $8,000 in debt from running up credit card bills and writing bad checks.
I also totaled my car the other day, and I lost my job, too. I’m going to lose my apartment from all this, also, and I’m only 19 years old. A friend said I could stay with her for a while, but my parents won’t help and say I need to clean up this mess on my own.
Do you have any advice?
Rock bottom is a scary place to be, isn’t it? But here’s some good news. The fact that you’ve realized your mistakes and want to change means there’s hope. And that’s always a good thing.
The first thing you’re going to have to do is get another job — maybe two or three part-time jobs if you can’t find full-time work.
You also need to save up quick for a cheap little car to get you around. If you work this plan for about a year and a half, you’ll probably be able to pay off all the Stupid Tax you’ve accumulated.
I’m not picking on you, Stephanie. I’ve done stupid stuff, too, trust me. Stupid with lots more zeroes on the end than you’re talking about. But when you do dumb things, you have to pay the consequences. It’s all part of being an adult. And no matter what age you are, debt is a dumb thing.
It sounds like you realize that you left your integrity on the sidelines, too.
So doing the right thing really needs to be a priority from this point on. The cool thing about the issues you mentioned, like finding a permanent place to live, something to drive and paying off the debt, is that these things will all get better now that you’ve made the decision to get better.
I think finding a good church and having a talk with the pastor would be a big help, too. Any good minister would be willing and honored to have an opportunity to pray with you and for you as you get your life back on track.
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