Burch: Blackburn channels her inner Yoda

Friday, January 25, 2013 at 2:12am
By Michael R. Burch

Marsha Blackburn has something in common with her fellow ultra-conservatives George W. Bush, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann: when she channels her inner Yoda, she can mangle English grammar with the worst of them. Here are a few not-so-sterling examples of Blackburn, a Tea Party and NRA favorite, in action:

“And this is the good thing.”

The quote above came as Blackburn tried to explain why shutting down the federal government in a “thoughtful” way, in order to cut spending, was “good.” In the batty belfries of her brain, the only resulting spending cuts would be “waste, fraud and abuse.” But if such things can be identified and eliminated, there is of course no need to shut the government down.

“Let’s agree ... that we’re not going to cry ‘emergency’ every time we have a Katrina, every time we have a tsunami ... .”

Yoda might mangle English grammar, but being wise he would know better than to suggest it’s wrong to call an emergency an emergency.

“We’re still needing to look at this mental health.”

Blackburn, like other barely literate right-wing conservatives, refuses to admit that easy access to automatic weapons and high-capacity ammo clips is a root cause of the recent rash of mass murders. The NRA’s political lackeys follow its irrational lead and point their fingers in every other possible direction.

“What I’m hearing is that people want to make certain that — first of all — that we protect the Second Amendment and their Second Amendment rights — protect their freedom and not impede that.”

This is like saying that freedom of religion should “not impede that” right to sacrifice children to the gods.

“We need to do a couple of things. Number one is to drill down on the mental health issue. Number two is to look at the psychiatric and psychotropic drugs, because that is many times linked to the individuals who carry out these crimes. They are also wanting to make certain that we begin to get in behind these video games.”

In her convoluted, ungrammatical way, Blackburn is trying to help the NRA shift the focus away from the oversupply of super-lethal weapons and ammo. But her logic is as bad as her math. Despite the gun lobby’s scapegoating of the mentally ill, people with mental health problems are not statistically more likely to be violent than other people. And of course Blackburn failed to mention the violent video games produced by the NRA, or the fact that the NRA also licenses guns to appear in other violent video games.

“The problem is it could be a hammer, a hatchet, a car.”

Yes, it is true that acts of violence can be carried out with hammers, hatchets and cars. But when was the last time that twenty children were deliberately killed in a few seconds with a hammer, hatchet or car? Mass murderers are selecting assault weapons for a very simple reason: they produce higher body counts. Intended victims can scatter and escape killers armed with less lethal weapons. But who can outrun showers of bullets fired in a matter of seconds?

Blackburn recently issued the following official statement regarding the gun control proposal announced by President Barack Obama:

“As a mother and grandmother, I believe we have an obligation to examine ways we can better protect our nation’s youth. We need to have a serious conversation about mental health, psychiatric drugs, and the potential impact violent video games and movies have on our kids. I will closely review the President’s proposals, however I am concerned his approach is a pre-determined attempt to redefine our Constitution. I am not going to allow this administration to trample on the Second Amendment or put new restrictions on the rights of law-abiding citizens to own firearms and ammunition.”

Yes, the Second Amendment mentions the right of citizens to bear “arms.” But “arms” would include cannons, mortars, bazookas, missiles, nukes, etc. Surely no one would suggest that average Americans should be able to walk around carrying WMDs. President Obama is not trying to “redefine” the Constitution, but to protect the weakest and most vulnerable Americans from having their grade schools, kindergartens and daycare centers turned into slaughterhouses. Marsha Blackburn’s inability to speak coherently or think rationally makes her unfit to represent other Tennesseans. She should admit her obvious incompetence, and if not, it is our duty as voters to replace her with someone more qualified.

Michael R. Burch is a Nashville-based editor and publisher of Holocaust poetry and other “things literary” at www.thehypertexts.com.

Filed under: City Voices

121 Comments on this post:

By: Captain Nemo on 1/26/13 at 8:25

As a teacher of crap yogi is a master.

As a liar yogi is a king.

As a coward yogi is emperor.

By: Captain Nemo on 1/26/13 at 8:33

Good point Ask01. However it would take a voter with an IQ higher than yogi for the Republicans to recover from this dismal pass few years.

I hear that some in the party is looking to rid themselves of the Tea Bag and Neo-Cons.

By: Ask01 on 1/26/13 at 8:49

Goog Saturday morning, Captain Nemo. I'm not sure the individual you mention even has a measurable IQ.

I suspect the Republican Party has so indelibly marked themselves as the party of the 'angry, rich, old white men' they will be lucky to survive.

There are reasonable, moderate young men and women of all ethnicities who would belong to the party, but the radical lunatic fringe which has taken hold of the core frightens them off. This may eventually cause a splintering as a viable new party forms around the more socially acceptable new Republicans.

The result will be the extreme minimalization of the Republicans and an era of unfettered Democratic progress.

By: Captain Nemo on 1/26/13 at 9:32

That is true Ask01, how can you measure a head full of crap such as yogi's. lol

Bobby Jindal is calling for the GOP to not be the party of the stupid Hear that yogi, but, Rasputin. They will have to either remove them from the party or educated them into the 21st century.

By: bfra on 1/26/13 at 9:36

As usual, Raspy & yogi do offer a belly laugh at their fantasy comments.

By: yogiman on 1/26/13 at 9:42

You must have a big belly to make it shake so much, bfra.

By: yogiman on 1/26/13 at 9:56

I would be glad to compete with any of you on an IQ test, Ask01. Even with only half of my original brain.

Using your lack of intelligence, can you explain why so many leaders of communist nations have announced their "good wishes" to Barack Obama? Could it be because Obama is making the effort to make the USA their fellow communist nation? Could your support for someone when you don't know his legal identity mean you are a fellow communist with him?

If you are interested in the USA I suggest you listen to a man from Poland.

Are you ready to give up your guns? Do you agree with Dianne Feinstein only politicians should be allowed to own a gun?

By: yogiman on 1/26/13 at 10:11

I just saw a sign carried by a young man in a "march" in Pennsylvania I enjoyed it. It read; "I carry a gun because cops are too heavy".

I fully agree. It also keeps government off of my back and out of my house.

By: Captain Nemo on 1/26/13 at 2:08

By: yogiman on 1/26/13 at 9:42
You must have a big belly to make it shake so much, bfra

Wow!! You must have burrow deep into you bag of knowledge there yogi, to have come up with a zinger as this. Must be getting low on come backs. You need to be more careful from now on or you will damage your tiny crap filled head. LOL

By: Captain Nemo on 1/26/13 at 2:11

By: yogiman on 1/26/13 at 9:56
I would be glad to compete with any of you on an IQ test, Ask01. Even with only half of my original brain.

Take him up on it Ask01. He’ll be a no show. LOL

He won’t be there in person either.

By: yogiman on 1/26/13 at 2:20

I notice you don't want to compete, dumba$$. Do you already know how ignorant you are or just don't want to find out?

By: Captain Nemo on 1/26/13 at 2:43

Sure I will stupid old man, because you will be a no show.

By: Captain Nemo on 1/26/13 at 3:01

The troll is quick to challenge, but slow to answer.

By: Ask01 on 1/26/13 at 5:06

The problem, Captain Nemo, is I won't fight someone who is unarmed and I make it a rule to never acknowledge he even exists, or address any of his rantings.

To be honest, I usually scroll on past him and a few other posters whose insane ramblings seem calculated to provoke anger.

I believe most people know when they are being unreasonable. When they persist in a line of illogical reasoning, the only grounds can be they have too much invested to back down, they wish to cause controversy and strife, or they are truly demented, delusional, or or outright mad.

The most common thread, I think, is they want to cause trouble, so I ignore them.

Have a good evening Captain Nemo. I need to do some cooking.

By: Captain Nemo on 1/26/13 at 5:54


Most of the time I do the same with yogi, but since Rasputin is missing today and I had nothing better to I took easy shoots at yogi. He make, making a clown of himself real easy.

btw I'm that your unarmed Comment flew over his head. Good night.

By: yogiman on 1/26/13 at 10:45

So you're a cook, Ask01. Have you ever tried sourdough bread? Or pancakes? Or Waffles? Ummmm, they're good.

By: bfra on 1/27/13 at 7:44

No! Ask01 didn't say "I am a cook", he/she said "I need to do some cooking". Anyone that doesn't understand the difference stays at the bottom of the comprehension pile as a dumbass.

By: Ask01 on 1/27/13 at 9:10

Thank you, bfra, for noting the difference.

Cooking is not my profession, but rather a passion.

I use cooking as a way to relax after work and exercise my creative impulses. There is a gratification factor which is difficult to explain derived from people enjoying what you have prepared. They don't have to say anything; the empty pots speak volumes.

Besides, the process allows me to play with my food and any mistakes are easily erased by eating them and denying they ever existed.

By: Captain Nemo on 1/27/13 at 9:35

lol Ask01

By: yogiman on 1/27/13 at 10:10

With your [lack] of intelligent you should not that I didn't specify professional cook, bfra. But, that's okay, I understand. I presume you only eat in a restaurant since you don't cook.

Not to change the subject, Ask01, but are you interested in history? If so, and you have 10 minutes to spare, I recommend you check out www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtoiflgzpx4/ It might give you an idea of how the communist party has gotten into the White House.

It should be interesting if you aren't a communist. If you are, you already know these facts.

And just think, this was written 50 years ago. There's 5 articles on the issue.

By: yogiman on 1/27/13 at 10:35

Question, bfra, I'm sure you know the facts. So can you explain why 'Barack Obama' graduated from Punaho High School in Hawaii as Barry Soetoro and entered Occidental College as Barry Soetoro?

That being known facts, when did he repatriate his name back to Barack Obama and when did he become a naturalized American citizen and when was the Constitution amended authorizing a naturalized American citizen to legally become president?