Burch: A not-so-super majority

Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 10:05pm
By Michael R. Burch

According to Tennessee conservatives, the silver lining in the very dark cloud of the recent national elections has been the creation of a “supermajority” of Republicans at the state level. So now, they would have us believe, conservatives will be able to guide the ship of state away from the dangerous reefs and shoals of liberalism. But what if the ship is being steered away from modernity, basic science and common sense, by a confederacy of dunces? Here are some of the more moronic things many members of the “supermajority” seem to accept as gospel truths:

Like evolution, global warming is “untrue.” Never mind that polar ice caps and glaciers are melting and sea levels are rising. God is in control and frets constantly about human sexual relationships, so the best way to avoid floods and other natural disasters is to keep gays from marrying.

Non-heterosexuals should be denied the right to marry and should not be protected from discrimination in the workplace because God “hates” homosexuality (even though Jesus Christ never said a single word about homosexuality, according to the Bible).

People should be allowed to “pack heat” in bars, restaurants, parks, parking lots and presumably schools, kindergartens and day care centers. Never mind that conservative legislators and judges would toss us in the hoosegow if we showed up with loaded weapons at their legislative plazas and courtrooms. Politicians and judges obviously deserve much more protection than innocent children and their mothers.

Fertilization is not a biological process but the result of Divine manipulation. Therefore, if young girls are the victims of rape, they should be forced to carry and bear their rapists’ babies, even at the risk of their lives, health and sanity, so as to not thwart God’s will.

Since only God can make decisions about fertilization, pregnancy and birth, the use of contraceptives is a “sin.” This is the official position not only of the Roman Catholic Church but also increasingly of lunatic-fringe evangelicals as well. The “logic” is pretty simple: if it is a “sin” to keep a fertilized egg from dividing, it stands to reason that it is also a “sin” to prevent an egg from becoming fertilized in the first place. After all, who are human beings to overrule God in such matters?

A just-fertilized egg has exactly the same rights as a fully developed human being with 100 trillion cells (give or take), despite the fact that without a brain and nervous system an embryo cannot think or feel pain. Since a fertilized egg is a person, females must become slaves to nature and their reproductive organs, in a return to the Dark Ages.

Even though conservatives do not want government to provide financial aid to poor mothers and their children, Planned Parenthood must be defunded, which means many more unwanted babies will be born to poor girls and women, increasing poverty, drug abuse and crime.

State governments can always do everything better than the federal government, so we should have 50 FEMAs, 50 FDAs, 50 EPAs, etc.

Business can always do everything better than either the federal or state governments, so we should return to the unregulated nation-bankrupting ways of the George W. Bush era.

While the war with Iraq was fought on false premises, we should attack Iran for exactly the same reason: weapons that do not exist and could not be used if they did.

I could go on, but hopefully I’ve made my point. The divine Oscar Wilde once said that the only sin is stupidity. I find it hard to imagine leaders any stupider than George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Rick Perry and Mitt Romney. And yet they are the stars of the Republican universe. Here in Tennessee, we have legislators who are every bit as zany. How do such dimwits end up with so much power? We, the people, keep electing them, to our shame.

Will our supermajority of dunces steer Tennesseans to safe harbors or run us aground? I am reminded of the chorus of a Harry Chapin song: “The dance band on the Titanic played ‘Nearer, God, to Thee.’ ”

Michael R. Burch is a Nashville-based editor and publisher of Holocaust poetry and other “things literary” at www.thehypertexts.com.

180 Comments on this post:

By: gdiafante on 11/30/12 at 1:23

I understand, I still stand by my instincts about you, which I've made clear on several occassions.

By: Captain Nemo on 11/30/12 at 1:29

You are still the same punk you were you forty years ago Rasputin. Still the same con hustling insecure woman out of their money.

By: bfra on 11/30/12 at 1:32

Nemo - It had to be totally "dumb" women if they let Raspy get to them.

By: Rasputin72 on 11/30/12 at 1:34

I understand perfectly well that you have private thoughts. All humans do, including the "Simple Six"

I can remember my grandfather saying about the Church of Christ minister. "Often wrong, but never in doubt."

By: Captain Nemo on 11/30/12 at 1:36

I wonder Raspy did you graduated to selling Bibles or would that be too much work for you? My guess you still go after lonely well to do women of low self-esteem.

Have you ever worked a day in your life?

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 1:38

Talk about self loathing and resentment! LOL - what a despicable little man. He manages to move to a different zip code and somehow thinks that makes him a better person.

By: brrrrk on 11/30/12 at 1:38

The world is nothing but an infinite number of binary conditions affected by an infinite number of probabilities..... what you chose to do with it is up to you.

By: Captain Nemo on 11/30/12 at 1:39

Not dumb bfra. Just lonely and desperate. Some wise up faster than others and dump the Rat.

By: Captain Nemo on 11/30/12 at 1:42

I wish I could stay longer but I got one more job to do in Louisville. I try to get a break latter.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 1:43

Drive safe, Nemo. :)

By: Rasputin72 on 11/30/12 at 1:45

NEMO, You may be aware of my Bible prowess. "JESUS WEPT" and JESUS loved the little children of the world."

By: Rasputin72 on 11/30/12 at 1:48

My word! We now have stirred the emotions of four of the "Simple Six"

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 1:54

Emotions? No. Stomach? Yes. LOL

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 1:57

It's pretty sad that you shack up with someone in subsidized housing not all that far from the Nations and you think you're rich. And all that self hatred from being raised poor - you just can't get past it.

By: Rasputin72 on 11/30/12 at 2:00

Blanket......Be extremely careful about stomach problems, some of these problems can lead to locked bowels. Locked wide open is the one you want to beat.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 2:01

How nice of you to be concerned about me.

By: gdiafante on 11/30/12 at 2:06

So fill me in, I don't pay attention to a lot of the peripheral stuff, nemo knows Raspy?

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 2:08

Yep. Nemo knows him.

By: bfra on 11/30/12 at 2:08

Blanket - Raspy is talking about what happens when he drinks too much of that cheap gin!

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 2:09

A while back rasp got a little flustered when Nemo called him out. LOL

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 2:10

See, this town is still too small to be flapping your mouth and thinking no one knows who you are, especially if you lived her back when it was a much smaller place. He's a little scumbag that grew up in the Nations and has a reputation for being a con artist.

By: slacker on 11/30/12 at 2:10

Rasp, a child of ''The Nations'' now a lecturer on genetics. Who knew?
We can be anything, sitting in our underwear behind the magic keyboard.. eh Rasp?

By: gdiafante on 11/30/12 at 2:11

Doesn't surprise me.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 2:14

He mostly preys on lonely, unattractive women - swindling them out of any money they have. Classy, huh?

By: slacker on 11/30/12 at 2:15

I still think Rasp is a Ford glass plant retiree, he doesn't have the skills to be a good con-man.

By: slacker on 11/30/12 at 2:19

Rasp.. a ladies man? Say it ain't so.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 2:24

slacker, no one said he was a GOOD conman, lol! Even the Nigerian email scams manage to snag a few dimwits.

By: Rasputin72 on 11/30/12 at 2:33

The fifth member of the "Simple Six" has ventured on to this board. A fantasy has been called into question as well.

The only truth is that I carried a paper route on New York. California Pennsylvania and Louisiana avenues at age 12 and 13. I knew the Nemovitz family as one of my customers. They lived next door and were very close to a Samoan family. The Nemovitz family had a small boy that the Samoans called "RAT."

NEMO mentioned that he at one time was a resident of the Nations. I connected NEMO with Nemovitz and politely asked him if he was once called RAT.

I must have struck a nerve as he has been advesarial ever since. I thought about apologizing but thought that at this point in life who cared whether or not NEMO was once RAT.

By: slacker on 11/30/12 at 2:33

Rasp.. the not so talented, blue collar Lothario.. at your service my dear.

By: bfra on 11/30/12 at 2:43

Raspy's comment puts off the odor of sweating! Whatsamatter Rasp, nervous?

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 2:45

Nemo never said he was a resident of the Nations. He said he knew a girl who lived over there and used to visit her. Nemo was raised in a completely different area of Nashville.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 2:48

See, Rasp is hot and bothered that he cannot figure out who Nemo is because Nemo is wise to him.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 2:51

The paper route was the only honest living he ever made.

By: slacker on 11/30/12 at 2:53

nazi, be careful. Rasp might turn his hypnotizing charm on you, and swindle you out of your money, and pocket protector collection. If Rasp asks you to look deeply into your monitor, run.. run like the wind. lol

By: slacker on 11/30/12 at 2:56

''I sell the morning paper sir, my name is Jimmy Brownnnnn''
-Rasp

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 2:56

Oh, I have GPS trackers on my pocket protector collection! No hypnotizing me either - I'm wise to all that!

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 2:57

I used to work as a skip tracer years ago hunting down scumbags like that.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 2:59

You can run but you can't hide! It'll always catch up with you. People like that always have a way of running their mouths too much.

By: Captain Nemo on 11/30/12 at 3:00

I never said I lived in the Nations Raspy old boy. I knew a lot of good people that lived there, but you are not one of the good ones.

By: Captain Nemo on 11/30/12 at 3:07

The only Rat on this board is Ratputin.

It sounds like Rats 2:00 post was trying to intimidate Blanket. You better be careful Ratzy old boy, she knows how to take care of herself. LOL

By: Captain Nemo on 11/30/12 at 3:11

The Rat keeps calling us the simple 6, yet he is the leader of the Trolls 4, all of the same genetic gene pool.

I got go for the now, if I want to get home tonight.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 3:14

LOL, Nemo! Yeah, Rasp would have a hard time intimidating me - lol!

By: Rasputin72 on 11/30/12 at 3:22

If Nemo and his mental and financial cripples (Simple Six) want to deny Nemo's heritage
that is certainly fine with me. If they want to pool their net worth in order to have a six digit value the that is fine with me as well.

What they cannot do is leave this earth with any sustaining reason for ever having been born.

Let the Big Dog Eat.!!!

By: slacker on 11/30/12 at 3:25

Let the gas bag leak!!!

By: Captain Nemo on 11/30/12 at 3:28

Oh my Ratzy is throwing another temper tantrum. Be careful old boy that temper will getyou into trouble again. Or as 40 years taken your fear away.

By: bfra on 11/30/12 at 3:29

slacker - Good one! LOL

By: Rasputin72 on 11/30/12 at 3:29

Blanketnazi........ Let me assure you that no one on the face of this earth feels compelled in any way to even think of you much less intimidating ypu.

You can beat on your chest if you like but no one is going to face you down. You are exempt.

By: Captain Nemo on 11/30/12 at 3:29

He was then and he still is, slacker.

By: Captain Nemo on 11/30/12 at 3:32

Translation

I hope she doesn't come after me.

Ratzy old boy stay hidden and she want hurt you. LOL

By: Blanketnazi2 on 11/30/12 at 3:34

Aw....I feel so loved - LOL!