Up for Debate: 'Irresistible' and legally fired

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 2:22am

The Iowa Supreme Court has ruled against Melissa Nelson, who claims she was fired for being "irresistible" to her boss? What do you think about the case and ruling? Who's in the right?

Filed under: City Voices
Tagged: Up for Debate

142 Comments on this post:

By: Ask01 on 12/26/12 at 5:51

I read this over the weekend.

The gist of the story, "Readers Digest" version; a dentist and his assistant, who work closely together every day, begin a flirtatious text exchange which naturally escalates, becoming more intimate and steamy.

Then, the dentists wife discovers the incriminating texts, and has a fit, insisting he fire her for being irresistable and a danger to her marriage.

The assistant sues.

The court sides with the would be cheating husband and his unhappy wife.

I think the entire judicial fiasco stinks. While the assistant may have been attractive, and the wife perhaps a gargoyle, the tired old phrase, 'it takes two to tango' comes to mind.

Everything I read indicates the exchange was a two way street, with both of them going the wrong way. The dentist, as the employer, and therefore superior should have taken the lead in derailing the flirtation and maintaining a professional standard between employee and employer.

Alternatively, if both were in an unhappy marriage, seeking mutually satisying 'extracuricular activities,' the dentist should have taken a stand, supporting the assistant, and accepting full responsibility.

Of course, I don't recall what the assistants husband had to say on the issue. This might yet expand into a full blown made for TV movie.

By: govskeptic on 12/26/12 at 5:59

It appears the wife of the dentist who fired Mrs. Nelson was the winner. Iowa is a
right to work state as are many others, so firing can be "at will". Could this possibly
be a win for "family values" since the wife truly felt Mrs. Nelson's tight fitting clothes
were a treat to her marriage? This was one of those cases where there was No
Right by any party, just a victory by the defendant dentist.

By: Rasputin72 on 12/26/12 at 6:57

Govskeptic.......Your comment being one of reason will be lost as the day goes on.

By: Loner on 12/26/12 at 7:13

Good morning, Nashville.

I read about this controversial firing over the weekend. The fired woman had worked for the horny but henpecked dentist for over ten years...suddenly, the dentist's wife got jealous and the wimpy dentist was forced to throw his excellent assistant under the bus, to placate his jealous bitch of a wife....Iowa, being a right-to-fire state, the ingrate dentist got away with an unwarranted firing and career-damaging move against an excellent and dedicated employee.

The judges who reviewed the case were all male; firing a woman for being to sexy seemed like a reasonable thing to do in the minds of these pro-management, anti-worker, chauvinistic jurists....apparently, they too live in fear of their wives and a potential alimony suit.

By: Loner on 12/26/12 at 7:49

For high-rollers, like doctors, dentists, executives, high-level accountants and judges, the fear of whopping alimony payments is a major concern.

According to reports, Nancy Lanza, the mother of Sandy Hook, shooter was pulling down over $300,000 per year in alimony...more than half of her ex-husbands gross income.

Fear of financial ruin probably keeps many loveless marriages together, especially among those higher income individuals. If the gold-digging wife threatens divorce, wealthy husbands will usually do whatever it takes to protect their assets....as the old R&B tune tells us, "It's cheaper to keep her"....and this Iowa dentist is singing that tune.


By: yogiman on 12/26/12 at 8:09

Why should an employer not have the right to fire if they have the right to hire? There has been some laws passed in favor of the employees but why should some laws be passed against the employers? After all, it's their business and their own money they're deciding how to use.

By: Loner on 12/26/12 at 8:12

Perhaps you all have heard, we had a mass shooting here in the Rochester, NY area on Christmas Eve. I live only 20 miles or so from the crime scene and people here are in shock.

Here's a link:

The "alleged" shooter had served 18 years in prison... for killing his own grandmother with a hammer...and for some reason, they let the monster out. He apparently killed his sister, then set her house and car afire...then he waited to ambush the firemen and cops who responded...killing two, wounding 3 others. He used a Bushmaster assault type rifle, same as the Sandy Hook gunman.

I thought that maybe that story would make the NCP Up for Debate board this morning...these nearly-daily mass shootings are no longer news-worthy?

By: Captain Nemo on 12/26/12 at 8:17

I find the term Right to Work a silly term when you have no rights at all.

By: Loner on 12/26/12 at 8:23

Back to the topic, in the days of Charles Dickens, employers enjoyed low taxation, zero regulation and zero negative feedback from their workers....the Republican Party, with the aid of the Koch Brothers and other tycoon-level, right-wing zealots...is trying to bring the those days back, for 21st century American wage-earners....and they wave the American flag as they do it.....idiots, like Yogi, salute their efforts.

By: Captain Nemo on 12/26/12 at 8:30

I guess not Loner. Too many of these shooting is just another day for the fringe right. Shooting is a normal activity for the simple folks.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 8:40

Good morning! I read about this the other morning and I have a feeling we don't know the whole story. Seems like something is missing.....

By: budlight on 12/26/12 at 8:41

Loner, the "system" knew he was a killer and crazy. They let the monster plea down to manslaughter from a murder charge, so he eventually was turned loose on the public and his family. This is a case that should have been closely monitored. He should have never been released. Thus my comment: We should enforce the existing laws more strictly. And the mentally ill need to stay behind locked doors. He said he hated his sister and loved to kill people. I shudder to think what he must have put her through before he burned her up in the house fire. A ban on guns would not have stopped him; he used a match or lighter to set the fires. He would have found a way -- with or without the guns!

Spiritual warfare -- battling against evil! During his original campaign when Obama was asked if there is "evil", he skirted the issue. John McCain said "yes". When is Obama going to give a true answer to the question.

Regarding a dentist firing his secretary, if it's a right to work state, tough luck -- regardless of the reason. And regardless of what his wife is, or is not, he was a married man. He and his assistant were both wrong.

By: Loner on 12/26/12 at 8:41

Captain: The term "Right To Work" is a euphemism for "Right To Fire"....sometimes, all it takes to get simple, ignorant, gullible, uneducated folk to vote against their own self-interests is to confuse and bumfuzzle them with a simple euphemism.

Speaking of Euphemisms; if anyone here is in need of any of the following items, contact JINGLE JAMES, right here on this NCP board.

Think JAMES:

J is for Jingles
A is for Acronyms
M is for Mnemonics
E is for Euphemisms
S is for Slogans

I'm at your service.....special Holiday Rates.

By: budlight on 12/26/12 at 8:43

Blanket, do you mean "something missing" re the dental story or the murders in NY?

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 8:44

bud, did you know that John Quincy Adams refused to be sworn into office using the Bible?

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 8:44

I meant that I don't think we know the whole story with the dentist. Sounds fishy to me.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 8:47

He and Theodore Roosevelt were the two presidents who didn't lay their hand on the Bible to take the oath of office.

By: Rasputin72 on 12/26/12 at 8:47

I am reminded this morning of a comment by an expat friend of mine in Paris,

Only in America can the the people who pay 75% of the federal income tax be criticized for not paying their fair share by the 42% who pay no federal income tax"

LONER, I would like to simplify the "Right to work as allowing those who want to work as having the right to work without the assistance of a union." If one wants to sympathize with a union then that person does have to work."

It is really that simple. If the entire labor force wants to join a union then the right to work law becomes a gathering of cob-webs.

What the right to work law says to me is "I need a job and if you don't want that job I do."

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 8:48

When John Quincy Adams took the oath of office he did not want to involve the Bible in politics so he was sworn in with hand on a book of law and the Constitution. He did not use the Bible. Our founding fathers were serious about separation of church and state.

By: Captain Nemo on 12/26/12 at 8:50

The gov is right about a win for family values, I suppose. However I recall a once friend of mine that left his wife for an old girl friend. His wife when after him with a vengeance and got him back and they lived happily ever after. Well that is until he tried to kill her. They divorced.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 8:51

Wow, Nemo! I wouldn't stay with a cheating husband. I don't see the point in fighting for someone who is not loyal to you.

By: budlight on 12/26/12 at 8:52

Blanket, we've had over 40 presidents. How many of that number refused to use the bible to be sworn in? I don't give a hoot what JQA did or did not do. Sometimes history is not to be repeated.

Honestly I do not see how people can't figure this out: The 10 commandments are laws to live by. If the dentist and his bimbo assistant had "NOT committed adultry" then she'd still have a job. And then there's the "Thou Shalt not kill" one. OMG, if only people could get that instilled into the brains and souls of today's crop of monsters, we'd have less mass shootings.

Why is it so hard to understand that the HEARTS OF THOSE WHO KILL ARE BLACKENED AND HAVE NO FEELING? Or else why would they take the life of innocent people - adults or children?

The other thing is that the media glorifies all the murderers. They give us a detailed explanation of their entire life from conception to death. CUT IT OUT! Killers need no mention after they kill. Just shut them in a cage and toss them some food from time to time. Of course they can be forgiven, but NOT turned loose on the public like the horrible man in NY.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 8:53

bud, you don't mean that you don't care about the intent of our founding fathers?

By: Captain Nemo on 12/26/12 at 8:53

Raspy old boy are you as rich as Mitt Romney?

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 8:54


By: Loner on 12/26/12 at 8:54

The NRA will call for firemen to arm themselves....they will not call for rounding up the Bushmaster-type assault weapons....they will not call for more regulations that might keep these weapons out of the wrong hands....they will call for more Americans to arm themselves....their response is always the same: "we need more guns, not fewer guns".

Gun nuts will point to the fact that the shooter had killed before, but with a hammer...they will reduce the argument to absurdity by sarcastically calling for a ban on hammers.

Gun nuts will also point to the fact that convicted felons are already barred from gun ownership and therefore gun safety laws are ineffective and therefore useless and counter-productive.

We've heard it all before....same old crap...enough is enough.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 8:56

Loner, I think this time might be different. We even have NRA members who do not agree with the stance of the NRA and thought they were callous and absurd with their statement. I don't think there is just one answer. I think it's going to require many things including gun control, better access to mental healthcare, parole eligibility, etc.

By: Loner on 12/26/12 at 9:00

Bud, there is no evidence that the dentist and the assistant committed adultery; where are you getting that sleazy crap from? A source to back that up please...

By: budlight on 12/26/12 at 9:01

Blanket, I'm not sure what you are talking about. JQA was not a person who actually was a "founding" father -- at least not to me.

"John Quincy Adams i/ˈkwɪnzi/ (July 11, 1767 – February 23, 1848) was the sixth President of the United States (1825–1829). He served as American diplomat, Senator, and Congressional representative. He was a member of the Federalist, Democratic-Republican, National Republican, and later Anti-Masonic and Whig parties. Adams was the son of former President John Adams and Abigail Adams. As a diplomat, Adams played an important role in negotiating many international treaties, most notably the Treaty of Ghent, which ended the War of 1812. As Secretary of State, he negotiated with the United Kingdom over America's northern border with Canada, negotiated with Spain the annexation of Florida, and authored the Monroe Doctrine. Historians agree he was one of the greatest diplomats and secretaries of state in American history.[3][4]
As president, he sought to modernize the American economy and promoted education. Adams enacted a part of his agenda and paid off much of the national debt.[5] He was stymied by a Congress controlled by his enemies, and his lack of patronage networks helped politicians eager to undercut him. He lost his 1828 bid for re-election to Andrew Jackson. In doing so, he became the first president since his father to serve a single term.
Adams is best known as a diplomat who shaped America's foreign policy in line with his ardently nationalist commitment to America's republican values. More recently Howe (2007) portrayed Adams as the exemplar and moral leader in an era of modernization. During Adams' lifetime, technological innovations and new means of communication spread messages of religious revival, social reform, and party politics. Goods, money, and people traveled more rapidly and efficiently than ever before:

It seems from this description that he is best known for: "Adams is best known as a diplomat who shaped America's foreign policy in line with his ardently nationalist commitment to America's republican values."


By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 9:03

bud, are you familiar with Paine and Jefferson? Have you read their writings?

By: Captain Nemo on 12/26/12 at 9:03

Blanket, they had two boys and I guess she felt that she could change things. Plus the other woman was a revile of hers and maybe she did not want to lose. Anyway she got Charlie back and they live happily ever after til he tried to kill her. He got his divorce and I went my way as far as I could get from them.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 9:03

Wow, Nemo. That's awful!

By: Captain Nemo on 12/26/12 at 9:05

bud says sometimes history should not be repeated, yet she does it every day.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 9:06

The Treaty of Tripoli is also of interest in case you are not familiar.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 9:07

”the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Mussulmen." Musselmen were Muslims.

By: Captain Nemo on 12/26/12 at 9:10

It is just another way people do business Blanket. I am not surprise anymore as to how people treat each other.

By: budlight on 12/26/12 at 9:10

Blanket, first you drop the name of Adams. Which is it? Adams? Paine? Jefferson? Who do you want to discuss?

I sent you some data from Wikipedia on Adams. Is that data wrong? It stated he was a republican or rather had "republican values". Can you address that before you fly off on to another topic or other men?

And Loner, the fact that "Then, the dentists wife discovers the incriminating texts," the wife discovered the texts is enough for me. I bet they did commit adultry and if not, then I apologize to them for saying so. But in the meantime, "right to work" means right to fire also. TN is one of those states. When my boss fired me in 2004, I said "why are you firing me" and her response was "because I can".

Fortunately for me, I could savor in some vindication for her when I found out she was later fired from her job at the same place. One of the things I didn't like about her was the fact that she told me once "you need to get rid of that husband of yours". That was the wrong thing to say to me.

By: Loner on 12/26/12 at 9:11

Bn, with 300 million guns in a nation of 300 million...and considering that these civilian market guns are coming off the US assembly lines at an historic pace....taking into account that our lawmakers are completely on the take to the gun industry and the gun nuts........it's realistic to conclude that rounding up the guns is never going to happen and shutting down the production lines will never happen.

Human nature being what it is, the copy-cat mass shootings will only increase in number and intensity....the media decry the event but sell ad space during the coverage.

IMO, ....it's realistic to conclude that, as a society, we are f*cked....the rights of the lunatic fringe will not be infringed upon...to do so would be bad for business....this, some claim, is the price of freedom.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 9:12

All of the above, bud. The opinion of the strict separation of church and state was not the opinion of one individual but several including some of whom were founding fathers of our country. I'm sorry if you were able to follow the train of thought.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 9:13

bud, you also realise the history of the republicans and how the core beliefs of the republican and democratic parties flip flopped? I will provide links if you are not familiar.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 9:14

That's a scary prospect, Loner. There's no easy answer to this.

By: Loner on 12/26/12 at 9:14

As I suspected, Budlight accused the dentist and the fired dental asst. of adultery, with no evidence to back up the vicious claim....Bud, your credibility is below zero....crawl back under your rock and hibernate.

By: Captain Nemo on 12/26/12 at 9:16

Yes Loner, the NRA will not be happy until we return to the days of a John Wayne Western.

I watched Big Jake last night.

By: budlight on 12/26/12 at 9:16

Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 9:07
”the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Mussulmen." Musselmen were Muslims.

Blanket what are you talking about here? Muslims?

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Mussulman, Musselman, Mussulmann, Musselmann, Musulman, Muselman, Musulmann, Muselmann, Musselmen may have one of the following meanings.
Musulman, "Muslim" in a number of languages (also used archaically in English as Mussulman, Musselman)
Muselmann, a Nazi concentration camp prisoner suffering from extreme stages of starvation
A surname, with particularly high concentrations in the Eastern US and in Mennonite populations.
Eric Musselman
Bill Musselman
Mary Musselman
Jeff Musselman
Musselman Lake
Musselmen, last survivors in The Happy Breed dystopian science fiction story
Musselman High School, public high school in Berkeley County, West Virginia.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 9:18

bud, read the Treaty of Tripoli. It was regarding Muslims who were referred to as Musselmen in the treaty.

By: dargent7 on 12/26/12 at 9:18

How did I miss this story? I read/skim 10 newspapers a day....
The assisstant can get UN employment for 24 weeks. Then an extension.
If the good Dr. contests it, she might be denied for "insubordination" or other acts the state considers "inappropriate". Texting sexual inuendo and codes? Maybe.
I always liked the story of the dental hygenist who needed a breast reduction because her boobs were so big she couldn't get close enough to the patient's mouth!
Obviously, the Dr. had a 6 month wait to get in. Clients were getting their teeth cleaned every 4 weeks.
She did get the reduction and now lives happily ever after.
The Dr.'s practice has dropped 75%.

By: Captain Nemo on 12/26/12 at 9:19

Blanket, if it is more than a two word sentence, bud gets lost.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 9:19


By: budlight on 12/26/12 at 9:19

Captain Nemo on 12/26/12 at 9:16
Yes Loner, the NRA will not be happy until we return to the days of a John Wayne Western.

I watched Big Jake last night.

Capt. have you seen Dennis Quaid in the 60's show "Vegas"? He is one tough cowboy and his enforcement of the law would be frowned upon by the left wing lib nuts today; I'm surprised they are letting the show stay on the air.

By: Blanketnazi2 on 12/26/12 at 9:19

Yeah, apprently, Nemo.