Ask Amy

Tuesday, September 29, 2009 at 11:45pm

DEAR AMY: I am a freshman at a Catholic high school.

I get up at 5:45 in the morning, so I can be ready in time for the 45-minute bus ride to school.

There aren't very many seats left by the time the bus gets to my stop, and there are some sophomores in the back of the bus who take up multiple seats with backpacks, jackets, their feet, etc.

Some of them refuse to move their stuff for my friends and me to sit down, saying that they won't move for "some stupid freshman." They're only sophomores!

Not only do they do this, but they also have loud, rude, swear-filled conversations about a whole range of inappropriate things.

Even when the conversations aren't rude, they still talk for the whole bus to hear.

Should I tell them to shut up? It's impossible to ignore them.

So what should I do?

— Frustrated Freshman

DEAR FRESHMAN: Take this issue to your parents — and also to the dean of students at school.

Your school's bus driver should have enough control over the morning zoo to make sure that every student gets a seat if seats are available — without enduring a lot of abuse.

A simple solution would be for your driver to make the sophomore students double up as they board the bus — this way you wouldn't have to face the prospect of asking them to remove their backpacks or feet and (worse yet) sit with them after they've done so.

Your folks pay tuition for the privilege of going to this school and your school day starts the minute you board the bus.

Your school probably has a no-tolerance policy about bullying; this policy should also apply during your commute.

Take this as a lesson in values — and don't succumb to the temptation to become a power-mad sophomore next year.


DEAR AMY: My hubby and I have been married for almost 25 years. We lead a healthy lifestyle and exercise regularly.

I work out at a gym, and when I get home in my sweaty clothes, I immediately head for a shower.

My hubby, on the other hand, will come in after a jog dripping in sweaty clothes and proceed to sit at the kitchen table or on the living room sofa to "cool down."

When I ask, "Are you taking a shower?" he'll say, "After I have some water," or, "I'm still too hot."

Not only do I find this offensive from a hygiene prospective, but also our upholstery is starting to smell of sweat.

I would appreciate any advice you can give me on how to talk to him about this.

— Upset Wife

DEAR UPSET: First, thank your lucky stars that after almost a quarter century of marriage you and your hubby are both healthy enough to work up a sweat — and happy enough that this qualifies as a problem.

As a sometime runner, I can testify to the need to cool down before showering, just as you probably do after you work out at your gym.

Leave out the part where you talk about how offensive you find your husband's sweat and say, "Hubby, I love you, but can you do me a favor? I'm going to leave a towel here for you to sit on when you come in from your run. It would be great if you could sit on it until you're ready for your shower because the upholstery is starting to smell like the gym."


DEAR AMY: I cannot believe that you responded to "Knit Wit" by saying it's OK to knit when you are a guest at someone's home. We had two couples over for dinner, and one guest asked if we would mind her knitting. What could we say? No matter what you think, Knit Wit's husband was right — it is rude.

For a couple of hours together when the host has fixed a dinner, if you cannot do without your knitting, stay home. You are soooo wrong on this one.

— Peggy from Bellevue

DEAR PEGGY: "Knit Wit" wanted to knit during the conversational part of a long weekend at a vacation house. This is different than wanting to knit at a dinner party. Many knitters responded to this delightful issue, and I'll run their answers in future columns.

Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com

Filed under: Lifestyles